Kylerina Ballerina
by SnowUshanka
Summary: After an unfortunate mix up, Kyle is stuck with private ballet lessons... taught by Cartman! Can Kyle learn to dance before the end of term concert? Will he make his mother proud? Just a funny KyCart.
1. The Beginning of Multiple Beginnings

**Kylerina Ballerina**

**The Beginning of Multiple Beginnings**

I signed a flyer to sign up for school camp-it is this awesome place where you go along with a bunch of other kids to study and attend school away from home. Ok, it doesn't sound awesome (especially if you have friends) but with my controlling mother applying for a job at my school, I think it's necessary. But these facts don't explain why I'm in the deserted school hall wearing a leotard. Cartman says I look like a ballerina, with my slight flat figure and auburn curls. I could seriously kill him... Anyway, the story of why I'm in the leotard alone goes back about a week...

"Kyle, are you sure you really want to study away from your family and friends?"

"Stan, my mother's going to be teaching here, _teaching_."

"Dude, she's not that bad."

"Are you kidding?" Cartman butted in, "Kahl's mom's a bitch!"

I shot him a warning glance and turned back to Stan.

"Yeah, I'm going to apply for it right after lunch."

After lunch, I walked down to the notice board and sign my name under the heading that says 'Study Camp Experience'. All I had to do was wait until they sent us all to camp 'Learn-a-lot'. It's totally lame, but as I said: necessary.

The next day Cartman then came up to me, 'surprisingly' pissed off about something.

"I finally got rid of you Kahl..." but he only said it half-heartedly. He's eyes were slightly puffy and kept looking as if he wanted to add something to that statement. I didn't take much notice at the time: I was finally getting away from everything-South Park, Cartman, my bossy mother, constant 'nerd' remarks from the football team...

Anyway, the notice said that the group would be leaving tomorrow morning from the school. Freedom.

That night, I finally told my parents.

"But bubby, I'm finally going to be teaching your class!"

"Yeah, but Ms Garrison says it will be a 'good experience' for me."

"Yeah Sheila, be proud of Kyle."

Thank god for dad.

"Ms Garrison... the one who shows intolerance about everything and then was gay, and got a sex change then became a lesbian?"

There was silence at the dinner table.

"Yes."

Dad coughed, and mom started to fuss about everything until I said that Ms Garrison wasn't actually coming to camp 'Learn-a-lot'. My mother still wasn't happy, but allowed it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------XAuthor's Notex

This story is just a lighter, funnier and sweeter little tale than my last story. I just really felt like writing this. The chapters are pretty 'bite-sized' but will be updated regularly.

XSnowUshankaX


	2. A Compilation of Humiliating Mistakes

**A Compilation of Humiliating Mistakes**

I was packed and ready to go, standing out the front of the school.

"Hey there Kyle! Are you going to the super swell camp 'Learn-a-lot too?" Oh crap. Butters.

"Yes Butters."

"That's great; we might even be study buddies!" Oh god, camp just got lamer. Soon there was a small, keen and nerdy group standing outside South Park Elementary. Butters, Dougie, Pip and a few others Kyle didn't recognize were chatting amongst themselves when Mr Mackey came up to them with a checklist.

"M'kay, before the bus comes let's do role call..."

Mr Mackey worked his way through the list, and after he was done said, "That's everyone... m'kay."

"Uh, Mr Mackey? You didn't call my name!" I shouted anxiously.

"Kyle? Oh I'm sorry; you're not on the list. You need to be on the list to come to camp 'Learn-a-lot'."

"Oh, I'm on that list," I shove past the other nerds and angrily snatch Mr Mackey's clipboard.

"Kyle, that's not appropriate behaviour, m'kay." The nerds giggle, and I feel my face growing red. I scan the list and hand it back silently when I don't see my name on it.

I trudge back inside the school, despaired, and head over to the 'extra-curricular activities' note board. It has lists for everything this crappy school offers. That's when I noticed my name surrounded by a jumble of other names... my name was under 'Privet Ballet Lessons'. I tore the list angrily from the noticeboard, and one word entered my mind-Cartman. I stormed angrily down the hallway, and expected to find that fatass surrounded by a group of sniggering people, bragging about how he somehow got me to put my name down for privet ballet lessons! What I find though, is a very anxious looking Cartman, fiddling with his beanie outside his locker. Usually when he does this it means he's very nervous or stressed about one thing or another.

"Cartman!"

"O-oh hey Kyle..."

"Are you responsible for signing me up for ballet lessons?!" I grab his red coat and slam his fat ass against a locker. Cartman sighs and looks down.

"Y-yes." He cringes, as if expecting my vengeful wrath. Well, he's asking for it! I draw my fist back, but as I look into his suddenly vulnerable brown eyes, like that of a puppy's I release the hand that was pinning him against the locker.

"Why?" I say, all of a sudden my throat going dry.

"I-I don't know," he shoves his hands in his pocket. "It was just a dumb prank at the time... but maybe..." Then he looks up to give me a confused and angry stare, and runs down the hall. I growl angrily, and stomp off to my first class, which, having gotten my way would be at camp 'Learn-a-lot' but instead it's with my 'delightful' mother.

That gives you some understanding and insight as to why I'm standing in a leotard in the school hall (which is being used as a ballet studio). I have just had my first ballet lesson with Eric Cartman.

After that class with my mother, I told her everything that happened-Cartman, the swapping, ballet-everything except the reason I signed up for 'Learn-a-lot' in the first place. Her motto is 'Broflovski's stick things out'! And that means I'm stuck doing ballet until the end of the term because she's already paid for it (thinking she was paying for the camp) besides, mom teaching here is no way as bad as the concert's going to be, me prancing around in a tutu for the whole school will be worse... much worse. Of course, being part like my ma I headed down to complain to the Principal. As Cartman's punishment, he has to know teach me ballet. Apparently as his mother is out a lot he learns everything he knows from television-this includes ballet dancing. He's actually quite a graceful dancer. I laughed so much when he walked in, but he threatened to kill me if I told anyone. Everyone will know at the end of term concert anyway.


	3. The Clumsy Butterfly

**The Clumsy Butterfly**

"No Kahl, you unco telltale! You got it wrong again!" I sigh. Dancing was never one of my 'talents'. I was so un-rhythmic it wasn't funny. Well, it probably is funny to watch, but it'll make the concert even more embarrassing. I was so angered when I couldn't get the routine to that 'Save the Rainforest' dance when I was eight... It still haunts me to this day...

"Hey, stupid day walker! Are you even listening to me?"

"Huh?" I say, trying not to laugh at the pudgy brunette in a tight leotard. But as I thought I was trying not to laugh, I didn't actually want to laugh. Cartman in a leotard, gracefully moving over the polished wood to help me fly in the end of term concert...

"Let's try it again." I say, determined all of a sudden to make him proud. After all, he would be on stage with me. Cartman glanced at his watch.

"No, sorry Kahl. Your time is all up I'm afraid." Our eyes met for a brief second, and then Cartman let something slip.

"I'm glad you didn't leave jewboy..." He covered his mouth awkwardly, then picks up his bag and rushes out of the school hall in his leotard. I stand there, in the middle of the dance floor. I'm glad I didn't go too. I think silently.

"How was today's dancing lesson bubby?"

"I'm not a very good dancer."  
"Oh cheer up, dancing's not that bad."

"I'm so clumsy! I'll humiliate myself at the concert!"  
"Come here Kyle, let me tell you the story of the clumsy butterfly." I stare at her. She has to be kidding me. I'm almost seventeen. She stands up from where she was polishing the already clean table and walks over to me.

_Once upon a time there was a clumsy caterpillar, which lived with a family of silk worms. All the children silk worms made wondrous, fine silver silk, and their parents were proud. When the parents found out that their caterpillar son could not weave silk, they told him that one day his abilities would shine through, and not to worry too much about it. All his silk worm brothers and sisters teased the caterpillar, called him useless. That night, when the clumsy caterpillar went to sleep he formed a cocoon. His family was so worried about him in the cocoon, but they didn't know what to do. None of their children had ever made themselves a cocoon before. But the next day, out of the cocoon emerged a graceful butterfly, with wings so delicate and pleasing to the eye, that all the silk worms were jealous. The magical butterfly said goodbye to the silk worms, and started a butterfly family of his own. His silk worm parents were very pleased, and cherished the magic butterfly as if he was their own child._

Mom stood up.

"Did that help you at all, bubby?"

"No."

"Good, now go upstairs and finish all your homework."

As I walk upstairs, I see my little brother Ike smiling at me from the doorway to his room.

"If it isn't Kylerina Ballerina!" He smirks.

"Shut up."

"I can't wait to see you dancing with that fat elephant!" I feel rage bubbling inside me, then something really, really weird happens...

"He's not fat, he's big boned!" I clamp my hand over my mouth, and rush past the now chuckling Ike. I close my bedroom door and fall to the floor in surprise. Did I just... defend Eric Cartman? The same fatass I've been calling fat for many years? This is really weird. Weirder than every conspiracy I've been a part of...

My phone starts to ring. _Don't answer the phone or you will die._ The thought just races to my head, but I shake it out and pick up.

"Hello?"

"Kahl?" Cartman says. I feel my blood freeze.

"C-Cartman?"

"I've decided not to give up on your case!"

"What are you talking about, fatass?"

"Meet me at Starks Pond stat!"

I glance at my watch.

"Cartman, we have to have dinner soon."

"I've added a new part to our routine!"  
"Geez, how gay are you?" There is a long silence as I feel my face grow hot.

"I-I'll be there," I quickly add before hanging up.

I fall out of Cartman's arms again, and feel at least eight new bruises form as I crash onto the cold hard ice that was Stark's pond in summer. I can see how Cartman got so inspired-the lake is completely frozen over and glittering, and delicate snowflakes are falling around us.

"Cartman," I shiver pulling myself up, "there isn't going to be an ice-skating rink when we perform in two weeks."  
"I-I know Kahl," he looks down, fidgeting; "I just needed to see you again... for dancing reasons." I sigh and let it go.

"You really are getting more co-ordinated Kahl. I mean, you're still an un-rhythmic Jew but you're getting much better." I give him a strange sideways glance. Was that almost... a _complement_?!

"I really am the clumsy butterfly," I mutter under my breath, "and maybe, just maybe... Cartman will help me out of my cocoon."


	4. It’s All Happenin’ in History Class

**It's All Happenin' in History Class**

School really sucks. Ever since everyone found out that I'm doing a ballet recital with Eric Cartman there has been a lot of sniggering and whispering.

"Dude," Stan says, trying not to laugh, "It'll all die down soon."

I glare at him, and put my head down on my desk. This is not happening.

"Hey dude," Kenny says, "I can't wait to see Cartman in a leotard." Stan grins at him, and Mrs Garrison waltzes into the room.

"Morning class!" He twirls, just as Cartman decides to strut into the classroom, head up high like he doesn't care.  
"Eric, try to be earlier next time!"

Cartman, looking slightly pleased with himself sits down in his seat turns to me to give me a sincere smile. Then Stan turns to see what I'm looking at and Cartman quickly pulls a face at me and I pretend to be pissed off then get back to writing notes about Mrs Garrison's favourite soap operas.

"Ok class," she says, after writing the last one on the board, "there _will _be a test on this so study hard!" The bell goes and everyone walks out of class. Who the hell cares about Mrs Garrison's TV interests? I'm never going to be a lawyer or a doctor learning crap like that.

I glance at my timetable. History class is after recess. It's my least favourite class because I'm not in with any of my friends and Cartman sits next to me. The hell continues. I am getting the books out of my locker to prepare for the next class when there is a thud on the floor next to me. I sigh and take a deep breath.

"Oh my god, they killed Kenny!" I faintly hear Stan yell.

"You bastards." I reply before kicking Kenny's body out of my way, and grab my books and head to the library.\

"Where you going Kaaahhhhl?" Cartman asks in his most annoying voice.

"None of your business fatass." He bumps into me accidentally on purpose and my books go spilling out onto the floor.

"Clumsy fatass!" I scowl, and punch Cartman hard in the arm before leaning over to get the books off the floor.

"Allow me," Cartman sets his books down in front of mine and with his back turned picks up all my books, hands them to me and runs off with his. He's totally up to something. The bell goes. I march into history class and take my usual seat up the front away from everyone else-especially Cartman. But for once the fat piece of crap is early and grinning he slides into the seat next to mine.

"Hello Kahl!" he waves and says enthusiastically.

The teacher walks into the room and tells us that our oral presentations are due. I slide out the blue binder I keep all my homework in and find that it's not there...

"Cartman!" I whisper angrily to him, "you stole my book!"

His eyes grow wide and full of fake shock.

"Oh Kahl! I thought," he wipes away a fake tear, "W-we were friends? How could you accuse me of such a thoughtless crime?!" He sighs disappointedly and I spy my blue notebook under his Terrence and Phillip contacted binder. I smirk.

"Hey Cartman, aren't you a little old for Terrence and Phillip?"  
"Huh? What you guys... but Kahl... What's the-"

A punch him off the seat and snatch my notebook back.

"Ok Kyle, that's enough of your crap you're going first."

I scowl and take my cue cards out of my binder and as I walk up the front I hear Clyde whisper to Tweek, "It's all happenin' in history class! The two ballerinas are having some 'artistic differences'!" Everyone sniggers, and my face flushes as I stand up to present. I really shouldn't have answered my phone last night. Seeing Cartman for extra ballet lessons... Why was he doing extra? Did he really want to help _me? _Or is there something in it for him? It seems he was being really nice to me this morning but then he stole my notebook... I glance at Craig who is laughing behind Cartman. He turns around and glares at Craig until he shuts up. Of course. He needed to do something to make me angry with him and punch him so that we didn't look gay. I give him a tiny smile. I'm pretty sure he returns it too.


	5. The Untalented Caterpillar

**The Untalented Caterpillar**

I walk almost merrily home from school. After Cartman knocking books out of my hands and me punching him in class people are treating this whole ballet concert thing as 'one of those things that just happens in South Park'. I pull open the front door, and look and my mother who is vacuuming. She switches the vacuum off, and runs over to hug me.

"Bubbula!" She greets, "How was school? What did you learn?" I cringe.

"I learnt what Mrs Garrison's top ten favourite soapies are."

"What, what, what?!"

My father walks in the front door which I left open, and hangs up his coat.

"Hello everybody," he turns to me, "your little friend Eric told me that he wants to have another dancing lesson with you."

"Oh honey!" My mother fusses, "Is my little butterfly out of his cocoon?"

My father looks at her strangely before calling up the stairs at Ike.

"Almost!" I grin, not really sure if that is the truth.

"Oh don't worry, let me tell you about one of the Magic Butterfly's kids."

"How many chapters are in this retarded story?"  
"Kyle!"  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

_The magic butterfly had a beautiful butterfly wife, and they had three caterpillar daughters. The first daughter, called Sprinkles was extremely beautiful and brought joy to whoever looked at her. The second daughter was named Sparkles, and she had the most beautiful singing voice in all the land. The third daughter couldn't sing very well and was quite ordinary looking. Her parents named her Hope, in hope that she would make something of herself. As Hope grew up, she knew she was never going to be anybody special, but her parents had so much faith in her that she signed up for dancing lessons. As soon as the caterpillar started dancing, she was so bad she got kicked out of class. That night at home, her parents decided that their daughter was very ordinary, and kicked her out of their home on a leaf. The first night by herself she met a boy caterpillar who had no parents but a caring heart. The two caterpillars got married because they understood each other and gave birth to several untalented caterpillars that they cherished and loved equally. _

"Now go upstairs and wash up Kyle, it's almost time for dinner."

"Dude, that story was messed up. What am I, five?"

"Kyle, do you want to get grounded young man?"  
"No ma..."

"Then go upstairs!"

I trudge upstairs miserably. What am I in that story? Am I the caterpillar _daughter _who can't dance? Is _Cartman _the homeless caterpillar boy? That story is so irrelevant to everything. I just think she likes the sound of her own voice.

"Hey, it's the untalented butterfly!" Ike jeers as I push past him.

"And who are you? The gay Nintendo angel?"  
"Hahah-what?"

I close my bedroom door just as my phone starts to ring. I stare at it.

_Don't answer the phone or you'll die. _I shake my head and pick up. It's Cartman.

"Kahl, Kahl!!"

"What Cartman? Do you want another midnight ice-skating lesson at Starks Pond?"  
"No, you have to come over to my house, I found the _perfect _song to do our dance to!" I sigh and hang up. This better be good.


	6. Music Gets the Best of Me

**Music Gets the Best of Me**

"Dude, Cartman, have you lost your _mind?"_

"Pretty sweet huh?"

"We are NOT dancing to 'In the Navy'!"  
"But Kahl..."

"Do you want the whole school to think we're gay or something?" He blushes and angrily filters through the CD collection.

"How about 'Never Gunna Give You Up'?"

"Dude, the Rick Roll song? Have you hit a new low?"

"'Oops I did it again'?"

"No."  
"'Beautiful to me?"  
"Uh-uh."

"Ooh, that Celine Dion song from Titanic, y'know..."

"Cartman, I'll look through _my _music collection ok?"

I slowly close the bedroom door. Jeez, I didn't know Cartman had such a gay taste in music. I guess there are a lot of things about Cartman I don't know...

As I pull open the door to my room, I rifle through some CDs i find in a dusty box.

"Last Day on Earth," "Taylor Swift," "Styx"...

I open my epic burger phone and dial Cartman's number.

_Don't pick up or you'll die._

I shake the thought away fondly, like it's a routine to think that every time I dial a number and Cartman with his caller ID yells, "Kahl! I found some other great songs. How about you make an uber remix of that dradel song?"  
"How about 'Come Sail Away'?"

"Kahl, you know how I feel about that song..."

"Yeah."

He curses under his breath.

"Seriously dude, get remixing your little Jew song." The line goes dead. I sigh. No matter how nice Cartman is being to me he still knows how to be a pushy bastard.

I rifle through the rest of the box and glimpse a word that has been showing up a lot lately: Butterfly. He pulled the rest of the CD out; revealing a single called 'Butterfly' by ... It was a sign. He put the CD into his CD player and let the Swedish Bubblegum Dance music wash over him. It was upbeat and exciting, and even though it wasn't widely known he felt that he and Cartman really should dance to it. He felt half insane. Him and Cartman dancing in gay butterfly costumes to bubblegum music? Was there a way to masculine it up? Then again, his own mother had called him a clumsy butterfly. I guess everything is choreographed when you thought about it- my dad's courtroom choreography, Ike's football choreography... they just used a different word. He dialled on the burger phone, and not surprisingly Cartman picked up.

"Dude, that was fast. Does it sound awesome?"

"No, Cartman, I didn't do a remix of the dradel song. I just rang to say I found our music. It's a song called 'Butterfly'. Or "I'm your little butterfly or something." I waited for the jeering laughter, mocking names.

"Sounds ok Kahl," he said, before hanging up. I was in shock. What had come over Cartman? Was he planning something sinister to do with the end of term concert? He had already spoken with Stan-apparently Wendy and Bebe are doing a jazz recital and Butters is singing his 'Lululu' song. Maybe Kyle wouldn't be the _only _laughing stock?

"Hey Kyle," Kenny smiled, strutting up to his desk, "are you going to be the next Anna Pavlova?"  
"Kenny," I say bluntly, "that wasn't a very creative joke."

"Yeah," Stan agreed, doodling army tanks and soldiers in the margin of his English binder. Suddenly Cartman walked into the classroom. Kenny sauntered over and cracked the 'Anna Pavlova' joke and I could see that Cartman found it as lame as I did. I turn to Stan, about to tell him of the hilariously gay music I saw in Cartman's collection when suddenly I picture his face on that day-soft, kind and eager. I blush, and Mrs Garrison parades into the classroom. Eager? What a choice of words Kyle...


	7. The Tragically Talented Caterpillar

**The Tragically Talented Caterpillar**

"That's it Kahl, you got it!" Cartman actually laughed as he spun me around and I gracefully held the pose as the song faded out.

"That was great Cartman," I beamed, "You're actually pretty light on your feet!"  
"What did you think?" Cartman turned to his mother and my parents. It was open rehearsal, something that Cartman suggested earlier.

"_So Kyle," I fingered the cord of my burger phone while waiting anxiously for him to tell me something 'big'. _

"_How would you feel if our parents came to watch us dance one time? See how much better I am than you?" _

_I felt my insides twirl around like a ballerina, and my throat went dry._

"_What?" I managed to croak as he cheerfully yelled, "Great Kahl, bye!" _

All the worrying had completely evaporated from me, and having my parents looking proudly at me was great. I mean maybe I stuffed up a bit on the part where I leap across the stage into Cartman's arms and he spins me around... Well, I sort of freaked out having people watch us and basically ran up too fast and we both fell to the ground... I always felt awkward when we did that move, even though his strong arms would hold me up without fail every time and I could feel my face grow red as he put me down and twirled me around. His hand wasn't even sweating, even though he would have been nervous and tired from all the 'extra practise' we had been doing recently. Once I went over there for practice, and had lunch with him while his mother was out doing the grocery shopping. It was weird; I had a really fun time that day. Now that we're older, I feel I have more to talk about with Cartman than I did in Primary School. And he doesn't really care about me being a Jew anymore either. That's even weirder. Sometimes he still calls me names, but I think it's out of habit more than anything.

We played his new Nintendo Wii game; he showed me his new 'Nickelback' CD which I politely listened to even though their music makes me twitchy. It was really hard to believe he hated me all those years ago, considering the way he looks at me now.

"So uh, where you impressed Ma? Did I do well?"

"Kyle, haven't my stories taught you anything?"

"No."

"Well it's time for another one."

_One of the untalented caterpillar's babies was beautiful. He was also very, very talented much to his parent's surprise. Alongside his not so impressive siblings, his parents were proud of him. Even though his siblings wanted him gone. But the tragically talented caterpillar loved all his brothers and sisters very much, and they soon learned not to be jealous._

I blink. Still not making sense. Cartman comes up to me, laughing hysterically.

"Dude, what the hell was that lame story?" I go red with anger.

"It's a traditional folktale from uh, Africa fatass!" At my anger, Cartman sort of stepped back.

"S-sorry dude I was just making a joke y'know..."

I look at the obvious regret in his eyes and smile wickedly.

"So was I," my face grows a little hotter as I see him returning the smile. Our parents are still talking in the deserted school hall, and suddenly I find me and Cartman both looking at them.

"Can we go outside for a moment Kahl?" Cartman said, pulling my by the arm anyway.

The cool air rushed over us and my heart started beating as he leaned forward and looked into my eyes. He sort of hesitated, then spluttered, "You dance ok for a Jew," before going vermillion and racing back inside. My knees give out, and I slide down the brick outside of the hall, my chest quickly rising and falling from the intimacy that I had just had with Eric Cartman.


	8. The Anger and the Passion

**The Anger and the Passion**

I acted nonchalant that next day. I hummed the 'Friends' theme song as I walked down the hall, saying hello to people I didn't even know. I guess I was just trying to make things go back to normal... or maybe I was in a good mood?

I walked into class and as soon as I sat down the bell rang. Awesome timing Kyle. The other class members filtered into the room, tired and sluggish. I frowned at them. It's such a beautiful, sunny day what's up with everyone? Mrs Garrison marched in at this moment, all pissed off. I sighed. Mrs Garrison tells everyone to shut up, and dives headfirst into the lesson. I look around but can't see Cartman anywhere. I shrug my negative feeling off and focus on the lesson. Then there is a knock at the classroom door, and a meek looking Cartman is standing at the door with an armful of books. After he's been yelled at and has sat down, I look over to him. I wonder if he dreamt about last night like I did? The glare from the sun lights up my face as I think about the way we kissed in the dream, and if only it were real... I shake this off disgustedly. It had been a nightmare right? Right?!

"Well Kyle!" Mrs Garrison screeches.

"Uh, forty-two!" I yelled out, very absent minded. I wait for the sniggers to happen, and for Mrs Garrison to point out matter of factly that this is English class, but she just says, "Well done Kyle," and the class moved on.

I am standing in the corridor as I see Cartman walk by.

"Hi," I whisper, and he whips around like he's heard a basilisk calling him.

"Don't talk to me just now Kahl," he said hoarsely, and runs off. I noticed that his hair looked like he's been running his fingers through it and his eyes were red and tired. I chase him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"What's up with you today Cartman? Are you shunning me?"

"Shun? Is that some gay little Jew word?" He said loud enough for people in the hallway to turn and look. I heard someone whisper 'fight'.

"You think you can do anything, but seriously, I'm warning you Kyle you better as hell stay away from me!" He ran into the boy's bathroom, and as the disappointed crowd dispersed I pushed through the people to follow him.

"What the hell fatass!" I yelled accusingly as I burst in. I couldn't actually see Cartman but I knew he was in here.

"Cartman," I point out boredly, "I know you're in here." I heard sobs of fear and turned to the cubicle closest to me and kick it open. Cartman is curled up in a ball sitting on the lid. He looked up at me with wild eyes.

"I didn't get any sleep last night Kahl," he said jumpily, sounding almost like Tweek, "Do you know why? I almost did something CRAZY yesterday, something..."

"Look Cartman," I sighed turning around, "If you aren't going to teach me ballet anymore I understand. I just don't get why you're avoiding me today! Is it about last night?" I turned back, and found myself staring at Cartman's chest. I looked up at him, and it seemed that he wasn't even breathing just looking at me in a strange way.

"I had a dream last night Kahl," He smiled viciously.

"Y-yeah?" I don't want to hear this.

"I need to do something now." He leant in, so close to my face. It was only when I felt his soft lips on mine did I realize I had closed my eyes. It lasted for a few seconds before someone burst in.

"Hey fellas! What are you-" We break apart and stare at Butters. The shock on his face would have been funny if it weren't for the fact he'd just seen Cartman and I kissing.

"Grab him!" Cartman roars, lunging for the screaming blonde. Grabbing him by the shirt and shoving him inside a cubicle, he looked at me with those wild eyes again.

"What do we do now?!"


	9. The Fury of the Sweetness

**The Fury of the Sweetness**

"You had better not tell anyone what you just saw Butters," Cartman was brief as he looked upon the terrified boy's face. He turned to me with shock, but I just looked at him sternly and nodded.

"W-what are you gunna do to me?"

"Look Butters, we'll give you ten dollars if you don't say anything."

Cartman punches me aside, a little harder than necessary and I fall onto the cold tiles.

"Don't listen to him! Tell ANYONE and I'll punch you're face in!"

"C-Cartman!" I gasped, prising my body off the cool floor.

Still looking at Butters, he said indifferently, "It must be done Kahl."

"I-I didn't see anything though..."

I grin played on Cartman's lips as he stepped away from the door letting Butters run past.

"No Butters, you did not see anything." Then he turned to me.

"Neither did you Kahl," he blushed, running out like a wildebeest being hunted down.

I stood there bewildered. What was with the kiss? Artistic... similarities?? Does this mean I _like _Cartman? Or is he just... I breathe in. Stop being such a girl Kyle. I collect my thoughts, straighten my shoulders and head briskly to my next class.

"Bubby, time for your dancing lesson!"  
"I'm not going tonight ma!" I sulkily call down from my room. My mother is there like a tornado.

"What, what, what? But you're really starting to come along Kyle. Come on, I'll drive you to your little friend Eric's house."

I sighed irritably. We weren't eight anymore. And Cartman was never 'little'.

"Maybe we should ring first..."  
"Don't be silly bubbala, Leanne is expecting you." Yeah, but Cartman might not be.

"So, uh, we should practice our dance." Cartman's back is to me, and I am sitting awkwardly on the end of his bed. He is sitting at his desk, glaring at a ballpoint pen.

"C-Cartman?" He whips around, and I see once again the tousled hair and wild eyes.

"You know, I don't even want you hear Kahl, I hate you! I've always fucking hated you!" I feel my knees give out again, this time for a different reason.

The ballpoint pen goes flying across the room and hits the pillow on Cartman's bed. I feel like bursting into tears but that isn't going to happen, so I muster up my fiercest voice and say, "Well then I'll just go!" I stand up to leave, but Cartman blocks the doorway.

"Kahl, I'm sorry, j-just stay..."

I am starting to really get annoyed.

"What the hell fatass!"

Cartman looks meekly down at his shoes.

"I-I'm not fat..."

I give up and sit back on the bed.

Then he comes over, with a meaningful look in his eye and snakes his arm around my waist.

"It's going to be ok Kahl," he purrs.

"Is it. Is it?!" Then suddenly I fall backward onto the bedspread, and Cartman is on top of me. It is like a re-run of the dream I had the other day-only better. I press into him, longing to feel those soft lips when there is a call from downstairs.

"Pookie, Kyle's mother is here!"

We spring apart and I look at him.

"What happens now?" He smiles evilly.

"Who cares? I just know I like kissing you, Jewfag!"


	10. The Bird Who Lied

**The Bird Who Lied**

School just keeps getting harder. And by this, I mean I keep looking at Cartman all the time... he's very distracting when you think about it. My burger phone begins to ring, and snaps me from my thoughts.

"Kahl!" I feel my whole body warm to the voice on the phone and sigh.

"Kahl, are you coming for dancing lessons tonight?"

"Yeah," I say without blinking-I wouldn't pass up a chance to see Cartman!

"And you know, the end of term concert is in three days... we have our routine pretty good," Cartman scrolled over a checklist, "but we need to work on the leap and catch... Oh!" I jump back a little at the outburst.

"I also removed the drums from 'Butterfly' so that it sounds more... ballet-ish."

"Sweet."

"Now all you've got to do Kahl," he grins at me, "is concentrate!" I blush as he kisses me. So he's noticed I haven't been paying much attention in class...

We stand up, and go over our routine. Cartman is right-the leap and catch needs work. It's just that I get so flustered when he's holding me, and forget to twirl after he puts me down. And when I leap into his arms, he gets flustered and forgets to spin holding me before putting me down. It's no wonder-this new found attraction is really affecting us. I never knew that anything _could _happen between me and Cartman... I suppress a giggle. Stan's face if I ever told him... I laugh again.

"What's your problem?" I am dropped to the ground.

"Ow! Hey, are you ever going to tell Kenny or anyone about us?"

He chokes, and grabs me by the collar.

"Kahl, seriously, if you've told anyone," he shakes me.

"No! It's just that... Butters' face when we told him... imagine other people's reactions..."

"Kahl, don't be stupid," he sighs and lets me go; "the reactions are the reason we're being secretive. Now let's go from the top."

I just can't help it. My mind keeps straying to Butters, and whether he's told anyone... there is a faint knock at my bedroom door and my mother walks in with an armful of clean washing.

"Bubbula, my little Kyle looks worried," she sits down next to me and glares with her hawk-like eyes.

"Is there something you want to tell me, Kyle?" Her tone is frightening, and for a second I think she's onto me.

"No," I quickly blurt.

"Ok, well, it's about time for another story then."

I roll my eyes.

_The Bird Who Lied_

_Once there was a pretty little red bird. One day in the forest he saw some lazy hunters who were looking for a fox. They asked the bird if he had seen him. The bird was scared of getting shot, se he lied._

"_Yes," the bird lied, "he went all the way over there, far away from me." The hunters looked at each other._

"_I don't want to go all the way over there," said one of them._

"_Yes, we'll just shoot you instead." And they did._

I blink as my mother walks out of the room.

If I thought the other stories were lame, this one really took the lame cake.

Sheila Broflovski leant against her son's bedroom door which she had just closed. I mean, you can pick them can't you? The way he and Stan used to hang out she had thought... but this chubby Cartman boy? This had to be stopped. She sighed. Going against the 'Broflovski's stick things out' motto would be tough, but necessary.


	11. Rehearsals

**Rehearsals**

"Ok, so the rehearsal will begin," Principal Victoria read out. She was sitting in between Mr Slave and Ms Choksondick; at the little judging table opposite the stage. Cartman and I are act ten, so we get to sit in the audience and watch until act eight before we go backstage to get ready. The principal looks at a piece of paper.

"Act one is... Butters..."

Butters comes grinning onto the stage, wearing a sequined purple waistcoat and tap shoes. He begins a little tap dance recital while singing.

"Lululu, I got some apples, lululu, you got some too... whoops." Butters shoe goes flying off, and hits Kenny in the head. Blood spurts out stains the chair he is sitting in. Stan stands up.

"Oh my god, Butters killed Kenny!" I stand up.

"Butters, you bastard!"

"Ok, ok, Jesus Christ!" Mr Slave tries to regain order.

"Act two... Pip, Dougie and Butters again singing... uh..." Ms Choksondick whispers to Principal Victoria.

"Oh! Wickersham song..."

"Whippy-dippy tutu, tra la-la-la!"

"Man this is gay," Stan pinches the bridge of his nose as he sinks further into the seat, "It's the meteor shower party all over again!"

"Wickersham tallyho!" They all bow, and then Pip calls into the audience, "Are you SURE you don't want to play Stanley?" Stan replies by yanking Butters' shoe out of Kenny's head and throwing at Pip, who squeals and bolts offstage.

"Ok... next is act three, which is Wendy and Bebe's jazz recital."

They come up onto the stage in black leotards and purple skirts and the 'jazzy' music starts to play. The dance goes for about three minutes before they take their bow.

"Go Wendy!" Stan calls out. Cartman snickers beside me.

"That's so gay."

"Shut up Cartman!" Stan punches him. If Cartman thinks Wendy and Stan are gay, what does he think of us...?

"Act four is Shelly singing 'World That's Full of Turds'!"

"Oh god," Stan stands up to leave, but Mr Mackey who's patrolling the seat isles stops him.

"Supporting fellow members of the school and watching their acts is compulsory, m'kay." Stan sits back down.

Shelly begins to sing with a backup band. Cartman sighs and turns to look at me.

"Does this bore you Kahl?"

"Yes."

"Yeah, me too..." The conversation is so strained; it was like these gay acts were having an effect on everyone. But ours was the gayest act by far...

"Thank you Shelly! Next we have Craig and Clyde doing a recorder duet!"

"I thought the kids grew out of recorders in like, the third grade!" Mrs Garrison whispers angrily to Mr Mackey as they retain their seats.

The recorders are annoying, and the two boys stumble over the notes whilst trying to play 'Poker Face' recorder version.

After they go offstage, everyone is super tired of the gay auditions so Principal Victoria said we could all take a short break. I follow Stan as we file out of the school theatre and collapse onto the grass.

"So dude, which act do you think will win?"

My blood froze.

"They're giving a prize to the best one?"  
"Yeah dude, they do every year!"

"I think we have a chance Kahl."

"Y-you do?"  
"Well maybe," Stan interjects, "I mean, Butters sucked and will probably kill somebody in his next act, don't even get me started with Pip's..."

"And Wendy and Bebe's was totally long and boring," Cartman adds.

"Shut up!"

"Yeah," I say, standing between them, "and Craig and Clyde's was pretty bad... maybe we do have a chance? If people don't rip on us..."  
"No, everyone's saying it's really cool," Stan smiles. I laugh, here I am, Kyle Broflovski standing between Cartman and Stan to make sure they don't start fighting. Usually I'm the one who starts the fight... or finishes it...

"Ok, breaks over!" Principal Victoria calls, and we all march back in.

"Where were we? Oh, act seven is Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld! Please make them feel welcome!"  
"Pssssh," Cartman leans over to me, "that is soo 2000."

"Cartman? Should we go and get ready now?"

"Nah, wait till this is over."

"Ok, thankyou Timmy. Right, next up is Token singing Hakuna Matata then Jimmy's stand up comedy, then Cartman and Kyle's ballet thing."

Mr Slave passes a note to the Principal.

"Oh, it appears that Kyle and Cartman have pulled out."

"What?" I stand up.

"What?!" Cartman stands up.

"What?" Stan whispers, "What happened?"

"Since when?" I yell. Maybe a few weeks ago this would have been a godsend, but both me and Cartman had worked really hard on our routine.

"Sit down boys," Mr Mackey instructs coming over, "It appears that Kyle's mother rang the school insisting that Kyle can't do the dance anymore."

"What?! What about 'Broflovski's stick things out'?!"

"Look Kyle, we don't want to go against your mother m'kay."

"God Kahl! Why is your mother such a bitch?!"

"My mom isn't..." But I can't even argue back. My mom is a total bitch!


	12. The 'Conference'

**The 'Conference'**

"Mom! How could you? You saw how good we were getting!"  
"Yes Kyle... but I've been thinking you know. I think that you shouldn't hang around this Eric boy anymore."  
"Ma, he's changed!" I watch as she twitches, "besides, I've known Cartman nearly all my life! We always hang out."

"How about you hang out with the family to? Your father wants to take you and Ike to the park to play football." I flinch. Even though Ike is my younger brother, he's broader and taller than me. Last time we played football I broke my arm.

"But you hate me playing! You say I'm delicate and-"

"Kyle! You don't think I can't see it?"  
"Huh?"

"I can spot them. You're gay aren't you? With _him_?!"

My mouth is dry and my blood runs cold. She knows.

"Well Kyle, you can't see him anymore."

"I'll see him at school," I lift my chin up sulkily. Then I feel a flame pass through me.

"And I'm still doing the routine!" My mother stood up from her chair and pointed the magic finger at me.

"NO YOU AREN'T!"  
I stand up too.

"You may have authority over me, but you can't tell Cartman what to do! It's not fair on him..."

My dad, who since then had just been sitting quietly at the kitchen table stood up.

"Sheila... I've been thinking and... I think Kyle should make his own decisions and we should support him."

I blink. Did he just stand up to the mega-bitch?

"What, what, what?" She says, running into the lounge room. I grin. She only said it half-heartedly.

Cartman calls later that night, and I feel myself blush as I pick up my wicked burger phone.

"So, I rang the main school office earlier," I say, "and we're back in the concert."

"Good!"

"Y-yeah..."

"I've already got my mom to make costumes!"  
"Y-yeah... WHAT?" I panic. What if these costumes were like the music he picked out? I flash to me wearing a pink leoard with butterfly wings, being twirled around onstage by my slightly chubby butterfly pal.

"U-uh, I think I should get a say in this..."  
"Don't fret my butterfly prince," he says breathlessly, sending chills down my spine, "it will be super awesome." The line goes dead.

As I stroll down the school corridor, I begin making a list. Butters, my mom... anybody who looks at me and Cartman funny goes on the list-the people who suspect something's between us. I'm pretty sure Bebe does, but wouldn't tell anyone until she was sure. I'm thinking about telling Stan and Kenny... I mean, I don't like hiding things at all, especially from my two friends. I haven't discussed it with Cartman yet... but I think I should just say it. Like tourettes, just do it...

"Stan, Kenny, did you know that me and Cartman kissed?" I blurt out loudly as they walk by, surprised at myself. Like word vomit, on that movie I haven't seen *cough* Mean Girls. They turn and just stare at me.

"What?" Stan repeats, veering out of the stream of students to push me into an unused classroom.

Kenny follows, but Stan accidentally doesn't hold the door open for him and it wacks him in the face. I look around him, and say, "Dude, I think you just killed..." But then he springs up again and waves.

"No, never mind."  
"What do you mean you _kissed _Cartman?"

Kenny walks in and takes the same position, hands on hips, as Stan.

"What do you mean you kissed _Cartman_?"  
"Yeah, you guys hate each other."

"I dunno, just working on this ballet thing together..."

Stan pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Dude, do you know how crazy this is?"  
"I think they're cute together," we all whirl round and stare at Kenny.

"What? I die every day I have other things to think about."  
"Shut up Kenny. Kyle, I just... I mean people are still laughing about the ballet thing and if you told people you were...gay," he chokes on the last word, and makes intricate hand gestures. I look vaguely around the darkened room, anywhere but at him.

"You know, the concert is tomorrow Stan," I say.

"Dude, no matter what happens now we'll still be there for you."


	13. Behind the Scenery

**Behind the Scenery**

Yeah. So. This. Is. It. Everything me and Cartman have been striving towards in the past week. The path has had difficulties from parents and friends, music selections, Butters and of course my new erm... I still struggle on what to call him. I mean, I don't want to say 'boyfriend' cause that's totally outdated, but I'll think of something.

"Kahl! I have our costumes nyah," he pulls out a black plastic bag with flourish. I am very nervous about these costumes; I have no idea what they are going to look like. What if I have to wear a skirt?? I blink then, noticing his clothes. He's already wearing his costume. It's a grey skivvy, with grey pantaloons. Attached to his back were silky grey, black and white striped wings, and he was wearing a masquerade mask of the same colours. He caught me looking.

"I know, pretty sweet huh? I'm a moth."

I nodded slowly, and then said, "What am I then?"

The evil grin cast a shadow over his face, and he produced out of the bag a yellow skivvy (I hope I don't look like one of the Wiggles!) Some orange pantaloons, slip on yellow shoes and a masquerade mask that was all the colours of the sunset, with a curled nose in between the eye-holes.

He tells me to go put them on, so I quickly shuffle into a toilet cubicle. I take a look at my costume on me, and feel like something is missing. I cram my old clothes back into the black plastic bag and slip on the shoes. As I walk out of the cubicle, I almost crash into Cartman who is standing very near the door blushing beetroot red.

"I-I forgot to give you your wings," He stammered, holding up a pair of silky, sunset-coloured butterfly wings. The pattern was intricate and detailed, and I gave him a fond smile before he clipped them onto my skivvy. The backstage speakers blared, indicating that the act had finished. We glanced up at the small television, and saw Butters bowing and running offstage in his apple-costume. It would only be a few seconds before he burst through the door.

Crash.

"Hey fellas!" He strolled by us, "Big crowd out there tonight. Saw your family Kyle."

I stop breathing and feel frozen; even the bump Butters makes knocking over a table because of his rotund costume doesn't snap me out of it. My ma swore she wouldn't come. She didn't want any part of this. She even stopped teaching at the school. To be honest, I even forgot she was teaching, as she was assigned the kindergarten kids. Butters runs by again, this time dressed as a London chimneysweep.

"Butters," Cartman turned around, his voice low and businesslike, "I hope you haven't said anything." A shadow of confusion crossed the young boy's face, then he smiled.

"Of course not Mr Eric," he said in possibly the worst Cockney accent ever, before rushing out onstage with Pip and Dougie. I sit down and pour myself a glass of water from the automatic filter machine. All I can do is sit staring at the TV. I watch as Butters' shoe flies off and hits a stage light above where Kenny's standing and squashes him. Too bad there's no volume, because I can see Stan standing up in the audience madly waving his fist. When he sits back down, I whimper, "You bastards..."

Cartman joins me.

"Kyle, are you ok?"

"Dude, my mom is out there!"

"Yeah, so is mine."

"My mom didn't want anything to do with this though..."

Cartman shrugged, "Maybe she's finally beginning to accept who you are." I smile at Cartman, and he leans in to kiss me on the lips.

"The next act is 'All That Jazz'." The microphone blares as Wendy and Bebe run past in leotards and we spring apart nervously. I can't believe I'm actually going to go through with this and embarrass myself in front of the entire scho


	14. Kyle Flies Away

**Go Time**

"It's really not that scary Kyle... you'll be fine!" Trilled Wendy as she continued to rub my back, waiting for Pip to get back with a glass of water and Jimmy to bring me some ice. Act eight had been announced, and knowing that we were on in two acts made me so anxious that I stood up to go outside for some air. Unfortunately, when I stood up I fainted and hit my head. I raised my hand to the spot, it felt tender and sore.

I get up and push past the little crowd of people, my legs still a little wobbly. I look at the TV. Act nine is halfway through. I catch a look at myself in a mirror, and see that I look pale as a ghost. Strong arms wrap around my waist, and look to see Cartman.

"I hope you didn't damage that delicate butterfly body when you fell," he breathed.

"I-I don't think I c-can do th-this..."

"I'll give you something else to think about then," he leads me to the couch, and act nine ends. Our names are called, along with our act and my legs are too weak to stand on.

"I watched you get changed." I whipped round to him, embarrassed and angry. No wonder I almost hit him with the cubicle door, and then he looked so guilty... I jump off the coach, and angrily storm through the stage doors. We go and take our positions on stage.

"I'm going to kill you when this is over," I whisper as the curtain lifts.

The curtain rises and the music begins.

_Aye-i-yi-i-eye, Aye-i-yi-i-eye, Aye-i-yi-i-eye..._ We twirl in time, _Wait for sunlight..._ we meet in the middle. The music freezes and we do to, then starts up with the song. We twist and leap and glide... I feel like I'm really flying during the whole routine. Nobody is laughing, just silently watching in awe as our wings wave around our dancing bodies.

_Aye-i-yi-i-eye, I'm your little butterfly..._ I jump into Cartman's arms, and he gently twirls me round before putting back on the stage and we bow. I skim the audience faces, and see Stan and Kenny clapping like mad, my brother Ike crying, and my dad whistling. I look for my mother, and see her standing up in front of her seat. She is waving a handkerchief towards the stage, tears streaming down her face as a proud smile etches on her features. We run offstage, and as we get to the little room my knees give out and Cartman catches me and lays me on the couch. My eyes flit shut as I wipe sweat from my face.

"We did great, listen to the audience cheer," he whispered into my ear, "You're my little butterfly." I open my eyes, but he's already gone and all these other people are crowding around me with smiles.

"You were great Kyle!"

"Yeah, well done!"  
"Where's Cartman? I want to go congratulate him too!"

"Thanks guys," I say weakly, trying to get through. My heart catapults into my throat when I see my mother standing at the stage door. I run to her, and we embrace for what feels like a decade.

"I'm so sorry Kyle," she whispers into my curls, "Things will be different between us from now on."

It's Saturday.

Cartman called, and we had a long talk and are planning to meet for lunch later. When we got home from the concert, I made sure to tease Ike about crying and mom made my favourite kosher food for dinner. I'm glad that things have improved immensely between me and Cartman, and me and my mother. I'm not going to enrol in ballet lessons though, even though that's meant to happen at the end of a cheesy movie, but sometimes at midnight I sneak out my window and go down to Starks Pond. When the weather is cold enough, and the moon is bright enough, me and Cartman glide gracefully over the ice and our silhouettes move perfectly in sync as we dance underneath the stars.


	15. Afterthoughts

**Afterthoughts:**

Cartman: Kyle is pretty sweet dudes. Everyone totally thinks we kick ass as a couple.

Stan: It was a little weird at first, but now I'm just walking to class and I'll be like, "Yeah, there's Kyle and Cartman."

Kenny: I don't really care about anything that goes on, in case you didn't notice I still die all the aaaaahhhhhh!

Mrs Garrison: Huh? Yeah whatever. They're cute little fags I guess.

Sheila: I'm totally ok with it. I am totally not one of those insolent, racist sexist or intolerant bitch moms on television.

Ike: Why do we need to have afterthoughts? After watching them dance it was pretty obvious. The whole school knows and they don't really care.

Liane: Oh, my Eric is just the best little booby-kin. Right hon?

Kyle: Yeah, I'm happy now. But some asshole put our dance on YouTube!! I was like, no way when Cartman showed me. We look pretty cool in the costumes... but it is merged with other dancing clips... hard to explain but it's totally up there: .com/watch?v=_QyZ_IWagz8

Principal Victoria: Please don't tell Kyle or Cartman, but I posted their video on YouTube. It's sweet, and I think deep down they want to share it with the world.

Cartman: Don't tell Kyle, but I payed Mr Mackey to pay Principal Victoria to get this thing on YouTube. Kyle was totally pissed off about it.

Kyle: Don't tell Cartman, but I was the one who payed Mrs Choksondik to pay Cartman to pay Mr Mackey to pay Principal Victoria to put this dance on YouTube. I'm proud of it, and I know Cartman is too. Deep down. 


End file.
